All before 6:45am. DOG PROBLEMS

 

Ben leaned over and kissed my forehead, “Please don’t be late” I said with pleading eyes, he smiled a smile that meant I won’t. “I love you” I said, thinking that I will be throughly surprised if he can leave the fishing hole in time.

Shortly after hearing the garage door close I rolled out of bed, practically falling into my soft grey robe. I decided a week ago I would start an experiment to grow my hair longer so I clambered down the stairs to make the concoction of oliveoil and egg. I let Reagan, our dog, out to go pee and started smothering my blonde locks with the sticky mixture.

Somehow none of these Pinterest recipes seem the same as their picture… I finish my little beauty experiment by wrapping my sticky hair in saran wrap (cling film as I grew up calling it) I look like a lady from a Star Wars movie but without the make-up and perfect lighting. I am cleaning up my mess  and I look outside and admire the beauty, the shining sun, it’s morning rays the general scene fills my heart with gratitude.

Then in my view of my neighbors yard Reagan appears. Just like that my blood pressure increases and I find myself running outside.

Pause right here. Its 6:30am, I am in a robe, with saran wrap on my head and

whisper screaming.

I am mostly whisper screaming because I don’t want the neighbors to see me looking like a crazy lady, I also don’t want too have to explain why my head is wrapped in plastic and apologize once again for my dog’s unruly behavior. I also don’t want to wake them up if they happen to still be in the land of nod.

I run around to the front, take my bare feet, one of which is injured from my less than impressive attempts at Ultimate frisbee and hobble over the pointy stones to next doors gate. I gently open it and  Reagan comes out. Sadly for me, Reagan doesn’t just run 30 feet into our garage. Nope! That would be too easy. Instead she takes off into the rest of the neighborhood.

At this point all my mind is capable of doing is focusing on how I didn’t ever want this dog!

Yes I know, she is an intricate part of our family and most of the time I do love her but when she does things like jump my 6 foot fence every day I just want to sell her and make a pact with some mythical creature to never ever have another dog or pet EVER AGAIN!

A significant amount of my wrinkles are solelyy caused by this four legged family member.

This humiliating picture of Reagan does make me feel a little better.